You can deny anything as much as you want, but the time will come that your feelings will show.

I love you! 

It feels good to say it. Almost as good as it feels to feel it.

Dear Heart,

Do you still remember him? Or should I ask does he still remember me? It's four years passed since we drifted apart. The letters that he gave to me are still complete and the hearts which are the last things he gave to me are still whole. He made these simple things as precious materials for me. I still keep this in my secret envelope, as like as he kept his secret before.

"I have something to tell you," said Kel.
"What's that?" I asked.
"Uhm, never mind. Maybe, I'll tell you later."
"Hey! Tell it now. What's that?" I asked again.
"I'm getting cry."
"Hahaha! Tell it now. You look like stupid, you know?" I said in a jesting mood.

The last time I saw him cried served as a funny moment for me. He cried for just a simple thing I thought he didn't need to cry for.

Way back on our past early years. When I was in grade four, I transferred to another school. Being a transferee, all was new for me, new classmates, new teachers, new uniform, new environment, and new time of schooling because first, I was not well-practiced in a whole day class. The last school I attended from grade one to grade four had a half-day class only. I would say that I found the best set of friends in that school and he's one of my special friends.

Heart, for the years I spent with my friends, we developed strong camaraderie, the way we talk, the way we share jokes, the way we laugh, the way we help each other and the way the one person gave me a valentine card every February 14 is coming. 

They said that we were too close and I was the only one who makes him laugh the way he used to laugh. Anyway, heart, I wanna share to you the Valentine Cards that he gave to me. At first, I never thought that he's creative in making such cards.

The first card he gave to me had reflected images shape of hearts. In each heart, there's a written "I love you" and the point of his message was "I wish that our friendship will last long."

The second card was as the same as the first one.  It had many hearts and in every heart, there's a written "I love you". One of his messages was "I wish you're always happy, especially on this day."

The third card was more beautiful than the first two. Aside from the improvement of his penmanship, the hearts were in a better arrangement. In each heart, he wrote "I love you"; "I heart you"; or "LOVE" and one of his simple messages was "Hopefully, we will be friends until the next degree of our studies."

The fourth card was different from the other first cards. He said that this card is red, so it's okay that he didn't put heart on it. In all edges of this card, there's a written  continuous "I love you" and in the center of it, he wrote "Always stay the same. I do hope that you'll never change."

The fifth card was red and had a big white heart. It looked simple card. Inside the heart, there's a written "I'm always here. I love you."

The sixth card was a combination of red and white. There's no heart. On the white side of the card, he wrote "Thank you and I'm sorry for all. No forgetting."

The last was not a card as usual. He gave me seven hearts. In each heart,  he wrote "I love you."

I asked him "Kel, why are you giving me seven hearts?"

"Seven years is all about you."

"What?"

"Uhm, I mean, seven years of our friendship, since we are in a grade four until now.Right?" he said. "Seven hearts for the seven years," he added.

"Yeah, seven years," I ended.

One day on March, my friend Yan-Yan and I were in our classroom and talking about something while waiting for the graduation practice. Kel entered  into the room and joined with us. In a moment, he said "I have something to tell you."

"What's that?" I asked.

"Uhm, never mind. Maybe, I'll tell you later."
"Hey! Tell it now. What's that?" I asked again.
"I'm getting cry."
"Hahaha! Tell it now. You look like stupid, you know?" I said in a jesting mood.

Heart, he got out of the room for a moment.
Yan-Yan said "I think he's crying now.

And when he came back inside, tears fall from his eyes.
He talked to me again with Yan-Yan.
"I'm really getting cry," Kel said.
"Kel, you have to tell it now,"Yan-Yan said.
"Why are you crying? What makes you cry?" I asked.
'I dreamed." he said.
"And what's about your dream?"
"I dreamed that you got angry with me. You don't talk to me. Whatever I do, whatever I say, you don't mind me."
"Is that so? What makes you cry on that? What is crying for on that?"
"Forget it. Never mind about it."
"Maybe, he just don't like you to get angry with him in real life. He don't like to feel that you are angry with him," Yan-Yan explained while laughing.

A day before the graduation, Yan-Yan informed me about one secret.
"Friend, Kel has a secret," she said
"Secret? Why are you gonna tell his secret? It's his secret, isn't it?"
"I want to tell you simply because you are his secret."
"Me? How come it's me?'
"He loves you"
"I know. He loves me. He always put "I love you's" in letters even in the text messages. He loves me because we are friends," I said feeling irritated.
"No. He loves you more than that. Ah, wait, don't tell him that I had tell this to you, huh? He had just tell that to me because there's no one for him to tell this secret. But he wants this secret as a secret, okay?"

Heart, the secret was safe with me like the secret of knowing his secret. His secret became mine. It's four years that I don't see him. It's four years that I don't use to communicate with him. The last text message I received from him was like he usually wrote in letters, "I love you." After all, I didn't  text him. Did he forget me now? But heart, one thing for sure, I miss my friend. I miss the way he was.

Truly yours,
Miss Secret

BOOK/MOVIE REVIEW (Required)

THE THIRTY-THIRD HOUR
By: Mitchell Chefitz

The Thiry-Third Hour is a book written by Mitchell Chefitz. Mithchell Chefitz is the rabbi of Temple Israel of Greater Miami, and  the founder of the Havurah of South Florida. He has served as chairperson of the National  Havurah  Committee, editor of a nationally syndicated  weekly Torah column, and teacher at Havurah institutes and rabbinic conference. The author of the Los Angeles Times bestseller The Seventh Telling. He lives in Pinecrest, Florida.

The Thirty-Third Hour opens at midnight Saturday, in the study of Rabbi Arthur Greenberg, the leader of the largest synagogue in Miami. The Rabbi has until 9 a.m. Monday morning, thirty-three hours, to investigate a sex ethics charge brought against one of his colleagues by a member of the congregation, Brenda, an attractive widow and the mother of an autistic son.

That colleague, Moshe Katan, an associate from Arthur's seminary days, has been leading an experimental family education program at the synagogue, bringing together parents and children to explore the stories of the Bible in new and challenging ways. Now, piled on Arthur's desk are the video and audio recordings of these sessions and Brenda's journal, which he has to review in a desperate attempt to avoid a disastrous scandal. The reader becomes judge and jury as Arthur seeks to find out what happened and, in the process, undergoes a spiritual transformation himself.

This book was quite well-written mystery. I like the way the author provides many Jewish examples and values in an interesting fashion. I found the ending a little unbelievable and disappointing, but would say that the book was worthwhile. It provides insight about the potential possessed by a non-traditional rabbi, and how Judaism has much to offer.This is also an irresistible blend of spirituality and mystery. The best tales are those told simply, yet conceal and reveal layers of meaning. 

In this novel, the author daringly pushes the envelope of American Judaism, challenging Jews to reinvent their synagogues, their communities, and their own Jewish identities. It is revolutionary and original. Also, he brings an intuitive grasp of the mystical to everyday life. His teaching is disturbing, profound and inspiring. It is really a wise and humane book, rich with delightful stories.

The Thirty-Third Hour calls us to soul wrestling at its most profound and at its very best.

I'd Rather be a Teacher

I’d rather be a teacher than a business executive. A business executive works with facts and figures and lifeless pennies, but a teacher works with mind that is open, unfold future, and principles that grow continuously.

I’d rather be a teacher than a musician. I love music too but musicians play violin on strings and piano strings unlike a teacher who plays on the heart strings.

I’d rather be a teacher than a salesman. I know that a salesman makes a lot of money than a teacher. He sells many different materials but a teacher sells ideas for a lifetime purposes.

I’d rather be a teacher than an architect. An architect helps build buildings but a teacher helps build characters which will endure throughout eternity.

I’d rather be a teacher than a stenographer. A Stenographer may have a mahogany desk in the magnificent office of some great chief of industry. He/she helps to write letters, but I believe that a teacher helps write to careers. He/she touches keys, but I also believe that a teacher touches lives of thousands students.

I’d rather be a teacher than an artist. An artist paints pictures and fascinates the object in its beauty, color, and symmetry but a teacher makes great and unique impressions.

I’d rather be a teacher than a bookkeeper. A bookkeeper balances accounts but a teacher has the ability to help balance lives in a different ways.

I’d rather be a teacher than an orator. An orator stirs an adult to applaud and admiration. A teacher stirs young students to right choosing and noble thinking.

I’d rather be a teacher than a decorator. A decorator deals with perspectives harmony and lines in room. A teacher deals with perspective and harmony and line in temples not made by hands.

I’d rather be a teacher than a potter. A potter shapes vessels of clay, but a teacher shapes destinies.

I’d rather be a teacher than an interpreter. An interpreter interprets words and ideas but a teacher interprets motives, purposes, and endeavors.

I’d rather be a teacher than an archaeologist. An archaeologist unearths buried treasures but a teacher unearths talent.

I’d rather be a teacher than an explorer. An explorer explores uncharted seas but a teacher explores uncharted minds, and discovers untold possibilities.

I’d rather be a teacher than a statesman. A statesman deals with finished citizens but a teacher deals with future citizens.

I’d rather be a teacher than a scientist. A scientist studies the wonders of the rocks, the beauty of the stars, the miracles of the plants, and the glory of the skies. A teacher deals with more miraculous in the throbbing human hearts, unfolding human lives, and the formation of lifetime characters.

  The Passengers

As a student, day by day, I pay seven pesos for the jeepney to take me away and make me okay. I read the signs and see between the lines. While sitting close with fellow passengers, it's better to think that its noise is music and its air is magic. Personally, my favorite seat is near the jeepney's door for me to get out easily. Anyway, when you are stuck in the jeepney for thirty minutes, and before you end it with "para sa tabi", you observe and encounter different people during public transportation. Some of them are still look in a fresh condition. Others are looking into the distance, sleeping, or texting, but the passenger I irritated most is the one who has deadly armpit odor. Let us welcome the jeepney passengers who are in their own different ways. Each of them is a real "pasaHERO".

The passengers who lost in their own world of music is the music addict. You can call them as "musikhero." They listen music through an earphone. Usually, these passengers lost in thought because of looking into the distance and trying to find the meaning of life through song. That's why you cannot disturb them easily. There are times, I wonder if there is really music playing. However, I have to understand their lack of understanding of the world and avoiding it through plugging their ears with headphone.

The student who usually has a book and photocopy of the lessons is the "aralhero." Aside from having dark eye bags, his/her eyebrows become one when the jeepney bumps and stops. He/she reads and murmur throughout the ride. Oh! Reading in a moving vehicle is bad for the eyes but he/she doesn't mind the risk just to make sure he/she will pass the exam. Sometimes, he/she falls asleep on his/her way to school while reviewing. Also, as a result of skipping a meal, his/her stomach is like a tiger when it growls.

The smoker in the jeepney is the stubborn person. If you are sitting beside this "pataybagahero", you are unfortunate as he blows the poisonous gas. He has no conscience because he does not think of the health of his fellow passengers and he just look away from the others to feel less guilty. So, for the smokers, please do not just read "No Smoking." Be considerate.

The path blockers are the passengers who carry something big and heavy. They are the "dalahero" and we should not blame them by what they carry even sometimes, they block the path towards the jeepney's door. It's a good idea that we help them in getting in and out of the jeepney. Also, the path blocker should sit near the driver's seat for them not to disturb other passengers.

There are times that you will be in a tight situation. That is when the jeepney's passenger capacity has maxed. At that moment, others say that the jeepney looks like a tight can of sardines which is waiting to pop. This situation serves as an advantage for the perverted person. As "manyakhero", he is skilled in trying his hands to get a feel from girls. It's easy to perceive that he is pretending to cross his arms and to make his hands brush to the unknowing victim.

The old one is the "matandahero" who is grouchy, know-it-all, happy, and the judge in the jeepney. You will identify this passenger by his/her wrinkles. As usual, the eyes of this passenger are covered by a small framed glass. This old one is also nosy and tries to butt-in to other passengers' conversations. Warning: If you are with your friends who are too loud, be ready for a lecture.

The in-a-relationship passengers are present too in the jeepney. The "magkasintahero" hold hands and sometimes, the male rests his arm around the female. They are one of the topics for gossip in the jeepney. They also receive bad looks from the conservative passengers. However, we must treat them with respect and remember the statement "Gossip about them, and soon you'll be the one who they gossip about."

Another passenger you'll be with is the "nanayhero" or the mommy with babies. The little child climbs in the jeepney followed by an older woman with a baby in her arms and groceries on the other hand. I know you notice the mommy with their younger versions. You will observe their being annoying and wild while the mommy is calling out to them. We should understand these passengers because some of the mothers have stressful lifestyle. Helping them is nice one.

In every place, there are gossip worshipers even in the jeepney. All we know about these persons is that they talk about trifling talks especially of other persons' life. That's why you can call them as "chikahero" all the time. Well, the jeepney's gossip worshipers are the people who just bump into each other and start talking almost at the same time about their kids, their husbands, even their neighbors, and anything else in this world. Although, sometimes we get annoyed with them, somehow, they share details about significant things.

The last but not the least of the jeepney passengers are the "tropahero" or the clannish group. These passengers travel in groups thinking that they have the jeepney all to themselves. They always pay their fares together. As usual, one of them collects and counts the money before handing it to the driver. They talk and laugh at the most terrestrial things. As a result of their noise, other passengers think that this group produces noise pollution. So, you should minimize your noise if you belong in this group.

During the public transportation, it is better to think about the saying "It is not the destination that is important, it is the journey." In spite of all, I am thankful to see and experience the real life of being a jeepney passenger. Because of these different passengers, I feel the meaningful journey with them. They are part of our journey all the time. All we have to do is to appreciate one another. The most important is that we are living life through the best way. Have a happy trip!

Mother for all Seasons

A mother is like Spring,
Who cares new green sprouts,

Strengthens and guides us,
Whenever they have doubts.

A mother is like Summer,
Who has sunny temperament
And makes everything a pleasure,
Avoiding discontent.

A mother is like Fall,
With systems firm and clear,
Ambitions of bright colors
And a joyous atmosphere.

A mother is like Winter,
While it's snowing hard outside,
Keeping us comfortable,
As a mild and friendly guide.

Mother, you do all these things,
With a delightful attitude;
You're a mother for all seasons,
And you have my gratitude.

POLITICS (Required)

 My Questions

There are monsters living in the night.

Should I reflect on humankind tonight?

As the human wander further from his soul,

We pursue things to fill the hole.

The lane of lies forever bends.

Fact is unbent and narrow our friends.

As I see it getting crooked in every way,

I saw myself enforced and pray.

Is really our nation endowed “in God we trust”?

Does our government say “let it be covered in dust”?

What will be the future of our sons and daughters?

Will their souls be driven to slaughter?

Politicians’ adventure tripped them insane.

They are now so smart but don’t use their brain.

Why don’t they try to lend a hand the human race

Before they go further winning space?

As we know that there is corruption,

Anytime, we will see the destruction.

No one is free from thirst and greed.

Is there democracy which holds our need?

               Politics is the location where promises are simply words that convince people. In politics, truth doesn't matter but position, connections, and delivery of words do. There are always promises that we know are never meant to kept. It's better to close the doors, turn off the news, and opens the book. We see that many politicians won even though they don't have enough experience and skills simply because of their grandfathers' names. The name proved to be the deciding factor in the elections and later became a symbol for what has proved to be propaganda. We see dirty things happenings within politics in our country but few take action and few go against the statues quo. How do we eradicate dirty things within politics? How can we have the government we so desire? We can do more what we can, and if it comes to a point when we will be the ones to run on system. The persons who are in the positions should be the one who initiate first the clean and honest politics. They should be clean first in terms of values and behaviors for us to be able to eradicate dirty things within politics. We must prepare now. We are living the very end. Wake up now and stop marching to their tune.

MEMOIR (Required)

       Moment in the Dark

“Wag kayong maingay. Papatayin ko kayo!”

If I will die, I don’t like to experience the harsh way. I don’t like to feel the bitter way of losing life such as accident, serious illness, or to stab with a pointed weapon by someone else.

I will never forget my terrible moment. That was the moment I thought it’s the end of my life and I’ll be lost in this world. November 14, 2007, Wednesday evening, I was in a first year high school during that time and my second elder sister was in a fourth year high school. It happened in Infanta, Quezon while my mother was here in Marikina. Across our rented house was the school where I was studying. Beside it, there’s another room and only wall between our room and our neighbor because it was a boarding house.

The pouring rain was heavy. No other sound I could hear except the drops of rain sounded like a fall of water from a small water container. Yes, every drop of rain was falling on the roof as strong as a flow from a small water container. At ten o’clock in the evening, I already done with my homework and I reviewed my notes while my sister did not finish her writing a report on manila paper. Well, it felt so good to sleep while rains. In the mid relish sleep, I felt my sense or thought is awake although I was feeling drowsiness. I thought that there’s something unusual that night until I slightly opened my eyes. Then question entered to my mind, “why is it dark?” Since childhood, we’re not turning off the lights when we go to sleep because I’m afraid of the dark. My sister too can’t go to sleep if the light is off.

My mind said that there’s something wrong that night. A had a hunch that except my sister and me, there’s someone inside that house.  In darkness and as the beam of light from the other room enters our room, I saw the figure of man standing near our bed. I thought my mother arrived, but why is it dark? Why is the light off? Then I felt my sister woke up and suddenly rose. She uttered the two consecutive questions: “Sino ka? Anong ginagawa mo dito?” When I heard that questions, I immediately rose and started feeling nervous. The man pointed us a sharp thing and said “Wag kayong maingay. Papatayin ko kayo!” As I heard that threat, a very loud shout got out of my mouth.

A clamoring noise surrounded our room until I heard the voice of one of our neighbors in the other room. She’s uttering my name and my sister’s name. She’s asking what’s happening to us. The man hastily went to the kitchen. Perhaps, he scared and doubted to start doing something bad because he heard that our neighbor is still awake. We did not know how we get outside the mosquito net. The happening was swift. Also, we did not think the door to pass through it. My hands groped the thin plywood. I had torn the thin plywood with the help of my sister.  Yes, we did it. If you are in that kind of terrible moment, you don’t know what you can do and you can do the unexpected act. We passed through the broken partition. When I looked at the clock, it’s in between eleven and twelve. While we were crying, questions were still running on my mind. “Who’s that man? What’s his intention? Why?”

On the next morning, we found out that the wall in our kitchen was torn wherein the man passed to get inside and outside. He also loosened the light from its connection, that’s why the light was off. Well, I would say that it’s a good idea that we did not open the door to get outside of that room, because there’s a possibility that man is not alone in planning whatever his intention. If ever we opened the door, maybe there’s another man who would detain us on going outside.

My most shocking and frightful experience in the dark was done. That was my moment in the dark. The heavy rain from Wednesday night until Thursday morning was a reason of class suspension that day.  I felt how God works, how He loves me, how He protects us, and how He helps me to fight the fear. Now, I am strong and standing with God’s guidance. If it is your time, it will be your time. Wherever you are, God is always there to place you in a good and safe situation. 

Thank You God.